The Best Tiger Woods Mistress: Jamie Jungers!

As you might be aware, Howard Stern recently held the Tiger Woods’ Mistress Beauty Pageant in order to see who the most beautiful mistress was that was had by the famous golfer while he was still married. Howard began the pageant by having all the mistresses dress up in bikinis, and then he asked them a series of questions regarding their relationship with Tiger Woods. Mostly Howard asked about Tiger’s sexual performance. What else would we expect?

The participants in the pageant were Jamie Jungers, Jaimee Grubbs, and Loredana Jolie. Rachel Uchitel, Tiger’s perhaps most well-known mistress was not allowed to compete in the competition because she had already signed a non-disclosure agreement with Tiger. Because it seems that Rachel was an actual relationship that Tiger had, and not just a one-night fling, I highly doubt that Rachel would have demeaned herself to take part anyways. But Jamie Jungers was crowned the winner of both the title of being the biggest whore, and $75,000. What’s so great about this story is that Jamie actually cried when Howard announced the winner. Oh, and she thanked God too. I don’t know, I highly doubt that God had anything to do with the pageant or with Tiger Woods’ affairs. Here are some tidbits from the pageant from Huffington Post,

“Jamie Jungers won the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant on the “Howard Stern Show” this morning. The winning alleged mistress earned $75,000 for her championship performance, and listeners were treated to juicy tidbits from Jungers, Jaimee Grubbs and Loredana Jolie.

According to tweets from listeners and attendees, Jungers claimed that Woods was well endowed. “Tiger’s wood was nine inches,” she evidently said. Former Playboy model Loredana Jolie, meanwhile, claimed Woods was “bigger and better” than Michael Jordan.

Both Grubbs and Jungers said that Woods never used condoms when sleeping with them, which echoes previous reports. Jungers reiterated that she slept with Woods the night his father died.”

What a sad state this world has come to. Honestly, we’re holding beauty pageants for mistresses now? Because the entire concept of beauty pageants wasn’t bad enough, I suppose. Whatever, Jamie. Congratulations on your win. It’s always nice when you can sell your soul to the devil (or in this case, Howard Stern) in exchange for a few bucks.

Elin and Tiger are Under the Same Roof

I’m really going to need another celebrity to do something crazy soon because I’m getting really tired of writing about Tiger Woods. The latest news is that Elin has moved back into the house with him and that the kids are there too. And from the sounds of it, Elin is planning on staying some time. Shortly after she arrived, a moving truck came and started loading up the house. From TMZ,

“Tiger Woods is another step closer to returning to pre-scandal life — last night, Elin Nordegren and the kids spent the evening at their Isleworth mansion … where Tiger has been living for the past few days.

Sources tell TMZ Elin and the kids arrived at the home yesterday afternoon with a security team in tow — and this morning, the entire crew was still there.

We’re told the move could be permanent — after Elin arrived at the home yesterday, a large truck showed up and workers began moving stuff into the house.”

Well Elin’s staying, but is Tiger? I only hope that she’s moving in only to kick his ass to the curb but, it looks like she’s going to try to tough it out. I’m really trying not to be judgmental on this one so, I’m going to leave it at that.

Elin May Not Be So Supportive After All

All accounts so far have been pointing to the fact that Elin Nordegren is fully supporting her cheating husband, Tiger Woods. But now the National Enquirer has other reports that Elin is enraged that she was forced to listen to account after account of Tiger’s indiscretions while she was in Mississippi trying to support him through his therapy. Not only is she angry that she had to do this, but from the sounds of it, she’s also fed up with the marriage and wants out!

All we’ve heard so far about Elin and Tiger is that they are working on their marriage, although Tiger expressly said in his press conference that what they were going to do about their marriage was a matter between them as husband and wife. But the Enquirer has been right about everything so far that’s been going on with Tiger, and they were the first ones to even break the story so I’m tempted to believe this one too. From the National Enquirer,

“[Elin] initially agreed to be part of [Tiger's] therapy, but when she agreed in Mississippi at Gentle Path, she discovered that she’d have to listen to a painful and intense ‘disclosure’ session.

“Patients write down every sexual encounter they’ve had in excruciating detail, and are given polygraph tests to make sure they’re telling the truth. Then they read their ‘disclosure’ in a group therapy session, while their spouse listens.

“Elin exploded when she found out she was expected to do this. She felt that she’d been manipulated, and said over and over again, ‘None of this is my fault, and there’s no way I’m going to put myself through this.’ Shortly after that, she flew back to Florida.

“Later, when therapists tried to set up conference-call therapy sessions with her, Tiger and a therapist, she flatly refused.

“Since then, Elin has turned her back on Tiger. In his apology, Tiger indicated that they were talking, but they lived apart in Florida before he headed to Arizona for rehab, and Elin doesn’t want to move on with the marriage.

“She’s decided that there’s no point being part of his therapy. Although she could always change her mind, it looks like it’s too late for Tiger to save his marriage. But he knows he has to complete therapy if he ever wants to get his life back in order.”

And, speaking of rehab. The National Enquirer also ran a story about how Tiger was changing rehab facilities. Not because of any privacy issues like Brooke Mueller, but rather because he doesn’t feel as though a sex addiction is his problem – it’s a problem with prescription drugs such as Vicodin and Ambien. These apparently, affected his ability to make the right decision and keep it in his pants.

I’m sorry, I just don’t care what kind of addiction Tiger thinks he’s battling. Choices were made, and they were very poor and now he must deal with the consequences. He didn’t seem to be too high or too incoherent to sleep with 14+ women, so he shouldn’t have been too unable to make the right decision either – which would be to not sleep with those women!

And how humiliating for Elin to have to not only hear the gruesome details of Tiger’s affairs, but sit there and hear Tiger read about all of them to her and a group of people! I don’t blame her for not being supportive and to be honest, I’m surprised that she went as far as she did. I hope that she leaves Tiger, I really do. Maybe then I could regain some of the respect that I had for her.

My Thoughts on Tiger Woods’ Press Conference

There was great speculation yesterday and today, leading up to Tiger Woods’ press conference. Would he announce that he was returning to golf? Retiring? Splitting from Elin? Some even went so far as to suggest that Elin was pregnant. The press conference ran across the three major television networks and even preempted the Olympics. Can I just say, that’s disgusting. I realize that people are interested in Tiger Woods but, could one station not keep the Olympics running? They do only come around once every four years and there are actually people who are more interested in how their country or favorite athlete is doing, rather than if Tiger is going back to play golf. On with the press conference.

You can listen to the entire press conference here at the Globe and Mail, as well as read an entire manuscript of the speech that was less than fifteen minutes long. If you’re going to read part of it, you may as well read it all so I’ve just given the link. I did watch it as it aired on TV and I went into it very anti-Tiger. I was pretty sure that I knew what he was going to say and that none of it would be good enough. I was partly right. None of it was good enough. But he did surprise me and I have to say, even I was softened a little. But I still think he’s a total douche.

Tiger outright admitted what he did, which was big for me. I didn’t want to hear any veiled admissions such as “the things I’ve done” repeated 20 times. He said no-bones-about-it, “I’ve cheated.” He made all the necessary apologies, to Elin and his kids, to his fans, to the young kids that look up to him, and to his entire family. He also made it very clear that Elin did not beat him over Thanksgiving, nor has anyone ever beaten anyone else in their household. Good to know.

Another thing I admired about Tiger’s speech was that he owned up to the real reason why he cheated: he thought he could. He thought he was better than everyone else and that “the rules didn’t apply to him.” Although he did talk about his “treatment”, he really blamed it on the fact that he’s a cheater and thought he was entitled. Good enough for me.

What I didn’t like about the press conference was that the whole entire thing seemed entirely choreographed. Not surprising, since Tiger’s known as  a PR Mastermind. But it all felt so orchestrated. It’s not that Tiger seemed completely insincere. But it wasn’t a really, truly bottom-of-my-heart kind of apology. Not having notes I think would have helped a lot.

Analysts are already comparing it to famous apology speeches such as Bill Clinton’s and calling it “the greatest apology speech ever.” But still, Elin wasn’t there and I’m sure she’s heard all these things before so apparently, she thinks it has a ways to go yet. And frankly, I don’t blame her for not standing by his side today. Tiger also said that whatever is going to happen between them is a private matter between husband and wife. And that’s fair enough. We’re going to find out sooner or later so there’s no point in prying now.

Elin Nordegren Picking Tiger Up from Rehab….Soon!

Well it seems that Tiger Woods has gotten his little pecker in order and calmed him down a bit because he’s been released from rehab. Tiger is set to leave sex rehab by the end of this week and his wife, yes – wife, Elin Nordegren, is flying in to pick him up and bring him home. Well, if he comes home, it won’t be for very long. He and Elin are planning on going away somewhere together to spend some time with each other privately. Aw, isn’t that romantic? A little getaway from the tramps that want to get with your husband. From Radar Online,

“Tiger Woods is leaving sex addiction rehab by the end of this week, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

His wife Elin has flown to Hattiesburg, Mississippi to bring Tiger home, sources close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.

The golfing legend is at the end of his program at Gentle Path in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

As RadarOnline.com reported earlier, his wife Elin has called off the divorce – for now – and is giving Tiger a second chance.

When Tiger leaves the clinic, he and Elin plan to go away together, alone, for a few days, sources told RadarOnline.com.

“Tiger and Elin want to be alone out of public when he leaves the clinic,” a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.

Elin previously spent five days with Tiger as part of his therapy program in Mississippi. Because of excellent security she was unseen by the press in Hattiesburg, but her absence was notable in Orlando.

The week she was gone her twin sister was photographed out with her children and even took them to Sea World.

Now she’s flown to get Tiger and bring him home.

“He should be out by the weekend,” a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com. “They are giving their marriage another try.”

RadarOnline.com was first to report that Tiger would return to golf by the Spring and that plan is still on schedule – and he may try to play even sooner.

“He wants his life back,” one source told RadarOnline.com.

Tiger has been in rehab for approximately six weeks. His secret life of cheating was exposed when the National Enquirer was first to report that he was in a serious five-month relationship with Rachel Uchitel. The golfer has now been linked to at least 14 women during his marriage.”

Well isn’t that just lovely? I guess when you have more money than God you can just screw your life up as badly as you want to and pay absolutely no consequences. And I just have to say one more time that I am not buying the whole sex rehab thing. When did this become such a hot trend It seems that everyone now that’s caught with their pants down just goes to sex rehab because “they have a problem.” I think we all need to grow up a little bit and start taking responsibility for our actions. Maybe then marriages and such can actually be worked on in an honest manner.

And let’s face it, we all know that she’s staying with Tiger for the money. Which just makes me lose so much respect for her. Who else is going to stay after your husband has been with 14 women? And those are just the ones we know about! Can you imagine how many more there must have been that never came forward or were found out about?

I do think it’s a bit funny that Elin’s sister was photographed as “Elin” while Elin was visiting her gigolo in rehab. I mean, I feel badly for the woman that she couldn’t be left alone while she was babysitting but still, it’s always funny when the paps get it wrong.

Tiger Gets a Visit from Elin in Rehab

We all knew that Tiger Woods was spending some quality time in rehab trying to get “better”, meaning that he’s trying to learn how to act like a grownup and keep it in his pants. Up until last week, Tiger had been in hiding and seemed to be trying to work through his issues privately. But all of that changed when Elin Nordegren visited her husband in rehab.

Apparently, having your wife there helps with rehab and is part of the program. And apparently, there’s also a marriage left to work on if Elin is willing to help her cheating husband “get better.” According to reports that Elin was paid a huge sum of money to stay with Tiger, the fact that she’s willing to stay may not be all that surprising to some. But to me, it makes me lose a lot of respect for her. I’m sorry, but Tiger shows no signs so far of wanting to actually repair his marriage and be faithful to Elin. And that’s especially evident from this incident that’s reported by Politicol News,

“Embattled Elin Nordegren visits repentant hubby Tiger Woods at sex rehab clinic.

Despite unleashing a tsunami of self-confessed mistresses, the King of Swing now wants to save him marriage.

And perhaps, so does the missus after an alleged $300 mil Xmas payoff.

RadarOnline.com reported Elin visited Tiger at the Gentle Path in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, returning home to Orlando, Fla. late last night.

She spent the past five days with the potent putter, participating in the treatment program and private security was employed to keep her out of sight.”

I’m sorry, but how stupid do you have to be? Not only do you keep contacting this woman after the story has broke that you’ve had a very illicit affair, but then you leave your phone out so that your wife is able to go through and read all of your messages? I understand that some cheaters want to get caught and I absolutely think that was what happened with Tiger. What I don’t understand is why he’s so willing to pay her so much money to stay in the marriage when he obviously doesn’t want to be a part of it? And how stupid does Elin have to be? She saw the texts herself that had Tiger saying that he loved Rachel Uchitel more than he did his wife. Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn’t love you the most in the whole wide world? It reeks of greed, and I don’t like it.

Tiger Tries Rehab to Save His Marriage

It seems that Tiger Woods is willing to try just about anything to save his marriage. Too bad he didn’t think about that before he started bedding every woman in the free world. But it seems that Tiger is now seeking professional help the same way that David Duchovny did – by going to sex rehab. Is this the latest trend? If you are too horny to only sleep with the one person that is your spouse, you blame it on a sex addiction and that makes it okay? I think that people, even if they are suffering from a sex addiction, that they still know right from wrong and still know that they are hurting people with their actions. But the real kicker here is that this supposedly isn’t the first time that Tiger’s gone to sex rehab. It is in fact, the second time in the last month that he’s gone. From National Enquirer,

“Tiger Woods is getting treatment for his sex addiction in Hattiesburg, Miss., sources say.

The King of Swing whose infidelity sparked a tsunami of self-confessed mistresses checked into the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction services, RadarOnline.com reports.

According to the Web site for the facility, patients usually spend about six weeks in treatment.

Sex addicts receive a variety of treatments, including group therapy, cognitive behavior therapy and “shame reduction.”

As The Enquirer reported previously then potent putter has been in hiding since his early morning car crash the day after Thanksgiving after a fight with his wife Elin Nordegren over his affair with Rachel Uchitel.

It was previously reported he sought treatment over the holidays at the Meadows, another well known sex addiction clinic.”

I don’t think that sex rehab is all Tiger’s marriage needs to be mended. I think divorce papers are the only thing that will fix it now. And I don’t think I would believe my husband if he told me that he had a sex addiction. Or else I just wouldn’t care. I just don’t think the problem here is that Tiger has an addiction. I think it’s that he’s been told his whole entire life how awesome he is, and now he thinks that he’s entitled to whatever the hell he wants.

How Mr. and Mrs. Woods’ Spent Their Holidays

Happy New Year and we hope that you all had a wonderful and safe holidays! If you’ve been wondering what some of our favorite stars have been up to, the good news is that the coming year looks bright for Hollywood and while many of the celebs have moved on to new beginnings, some have remained right where we left them in 2009. This much can be said for Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren who, haven’t yet officially filed for divorce but, if their behavior over this past festive season is any indication, divorce is a short skip and hop away.

Tiger spent the holidays as per Tiger, as we’ve come to know him. Hanging outside of New York hotels with all kinds of different women while he knocks himself out with liquor and caffeine and has various areas of the hotel shut down whenever he wishes to use them. From TMZ,

“There are a slew of photogs gathered outside the Trump International Hotel in New York City — all because of a rumor Tiger Woods is inside.

The story goes like this: Tiger checked in on New Year’s Day and booked a block of rooms under an assumed name. He allegedly replaced hotel security with his own detail, locking down an entire floor.

This morning, we’re told, Tiger had the gym locked down from 4:00-6:00 AM.

So here’s where it gets hard to swallow … Tiger has allegedly been seen going in and out of the hotel with a leggy blonde. He also, allegedly, ordered up 20 bottles of vodka and 15 cases of Red Bull to his hotel room … after two more women showed up to his room.

Sound like Tiger to you? Us neither.”

Meanwhile, what his wife, Elin Nordegren, doing while her sleazy husband was once again cavorting wherever and whenever he could Jon Gosselin style? She was hitting the slopes in Aspen and having a quiet, but wonderful holiday, and birthday, celebration with friends. From People,

“Ideally, the situation should have been relaxing: A New Year’s Eve celebration coinciding with a birthday. Spent with family. In one of the most fashionable ski resorts in the world. At a favorite restaurant known for casual and informal dining.

Except for one mitigating factor: The guest of honor was Elin Nordegren. Mrs. Tiger Woods.

After an isolated Christmas, Nordegren surfaced in the company of her twin sister Josefine in the French Alps. The pair, along with Josefine’s husband, Daniel Lönnborg, arrived last Sunday, Dec. 27, at Switzerland’s Geneva Airport, according to reports, and spent a largely unobserved week with friends in a rented chalet in Les Houches, just outside the ski resort of Chamonix.

A five-man French security team, hired for the week, assured the group’s privacy on the slopes.

On Thursday evening, New Year’s Eve, Nordegren surfaced at a celebration in Chamonix. The party – which included a special menu at the Swedish-run restaurant Le Munchie on the resort’s Rue de Moulins – was attended by eight, including Josefine and Lönnborg, as well as several other friends and relatives.

Sources indicate the mood at the table was bright and animated as Elin, who has been to Le Munchie on previous trips, spoke a mix of Swedish and English at the table and with staffers.

“She was having a good time,” a friend tells PEOPLE. “As good of a time as possible. Under the circumstances.”

At midnight, Elin and Josefine and friends rang in the New Year’s with a champagne toast, beginning a low-key celebration of their mutual 30th birthday. “They stayed on quite late,” one eyewitness tells PEOPLE.

The following day, after sleeping in late, Elin was out on the slopes in the company of Lönnborg. Reportedly, a quiet birthday dinner, prepared by the chalet’s staff, was held inside the rented chalet by the vacation party, which had already begun packing for departure.

On Saturday morning, Elin and Lönnborg were spotted back out on the ski trails.

Reports circulating in the area indicate that Nordegren left Chamonix on Sunday, heading back toward the U.S., where 2010 awaits her.”

So what does this year  bring for both of these two? For Elin I’d say a big fat paycheck, whether she divorces the slime or not and for Tiger, well, it doesn’t look good. His sponsors keep dropping him so the well will run out there eventually. Not that it matters, he does have more money than God. But he’s likely to lose his family. And his reputation has already been flushed down the toilet. There’s no doubt that 2010 is definitely going to need to be a year of rebuilding for Tiger Woods. And if his behavior continues to be anything like it was this past holiday season, it doesn’t look like he’s going to work to make that happen.

Tiger Woods’ Wife is Leaving Him

So apparently, Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods’ wife, is leaving him. The story comes from US and an anonymous ’source’ so who knows if there’s a lick of truth behind it. But this does come after rumors that Elin had already moved out of their home and was living down the street and after pictures surfaced recently of Elin without her wedding ring. So there may be some truth to this after all. From US,

“Tiger Woods and his wife are headed to divorce court.

A “divorce is 100 percent on,” a source close to Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, tells ABC News.

The 29-year-old Nordegren — who is rumored to be consulting L.A. based divorce lawyer Sorrell Trope — “is not rushing to divorce, however,” the source says. “She’s going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything.”

The new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now) reports that neighbors at their Isleworth gated community in Windermere, Fla., are buzzing that Nordegren (who has recently been photographed without her wedding ring) may already have kicked Tiger out.

“He’s been coming by in the early evenings only for their counseling and therapy,” one resident tells Us Weekly.

On Wednesday, it was reported that Nordegren and the kids — Sam, 2, and Charlie, 10 months — won’t be spending the holiday with Woods, who has been named Athlete of the Decade by The Associated Press.

The New York Post said she wants to go somewhere “Tiger-free for Christmas,” while New York’s Daily News said she is going to “spend the holidays with her family in Sweden.”

As far as I can tell, Elin has always wanted to keep this very private from the get-go. I think she made that decision right after she chased her husband out of their driveway with a golf club. And I really thought that she might stick it out with him. But I think that the more women that keep coming out, the more she can forgive it as an unfortunate misdeed in a very bad moment. I guess if this is true, and if the rumors about the prenup were true, that she decided to turn down the lucrative offer Tiger was making her. Well at least this way she won’t need to remain married to a man that she despises. Even if she does need to take a pay cut.

The Latest on Tiger

This weekend was a big weekend for Tiger Woods. Of course I think any day will be a big day for Tiger until he can manage to somehow live down the shame of disgracing his entire family. But this weekend began with Tiger’s announcement that he’s taking a leave from golf. This is supposedly so that he can spend time ‘healing his family’ but there are rumors that that’s not all that’s behind the leave. The mill has it that Elin, Tiger’s no longer adoring or naive wife, has forced Tiger to take this leave. And that he will be ‘allowed’ to return to the sport once the entire family is old enough to travel with him on tournaments. A bit of overkill? Maybe. But consider that he brought God knows what into their home by sleeping with umpteen women, you can kind of see her point. But that was just the beginning.

The next announcement would be from a company, Accenture, that Tiger was set to have some endorsement deals with. Or had some deals with, I supposed. The company has now dropped Tiger from any dealings with them. And does it have anything to do with Tiger’s transgressions. You bet your bottom dollar it does. From Gossip Center,

“The fallout continues as Tiger Woods deals with the ramifications of his adulterous actions. And the latest update is that Accenture consulting firm has dropped him from their endorsement deal.

The global company announced yesterday that they were parting ways with Woods, saying he’s “no longer the right representative due to the circumstances of the last two weeks.”

On the bright side, Woods hasn’t lost his Nike gig. A rep for the company told press, “Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike’s full support.”

In related news, Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren was spotted on her way to a holiday party yesterday (December 13) with her mother and two children. And as she stopped to fuel up her car, it was obvious that she wasn’t wearing her wedding right.”

Obviously this is a typo and the gossip column meant to run it as “wedding ring” in the last sentence. And I think if Elin isn’t wearing her wedding ring, it’s understandable. But I would also take it as a sign that she’s simply not willing to ride it out and that she’s at least one foot out the door with this marriage nonsense. But, National Enquirer says differently. They’re running a story that states that Elin is most likely going to stay with her adulterous husband. The reasons vary from ‘because of the children’ to ‘well, she’s renegotiated the prenup,’ but in either case, the Enquirer claims that Elin’s staying. For now. From the National Enquirer,

“Tiger Woods’ wife to allegedly $tand by her man. For now.

People mag, that bastion of celeb fan mags, ever receptive to the needs of PR payola, says that despite Elin Nordegren Woods allegedly going postal after first learning of the ENQUIRER’s investigative worldwide exclusive about the potent putter and his laymate Rachel Uchitel, Elin will stay married to Woods — “for the sake of the children”.

Because, according to peeps – uh – People, Elin is a “child of divorce” herself.

“That’s not something she’s likely going to want to do to (her children) Sam and Charlie,” Elin’s “pal” soft-pedaled People. “She really believes in the importance of parents staying together.”

In reality, it’s Team Tiger’s spin doctoring and lawyers working overtime with a big payday in the offing to the missus as they renegotiate the terms of the prenup which may be voided due to unrelenting hordes of self-confessed Tiger vixen undulating out of the nether zones.

BUT top New York divorce attorney Raoul Felder told The ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVELY that Elin WILL reap millions above and beyond her prenup agreement:

“For the first time Tiger’s wife is in a powerful position. When she signed a prenup she had no power at all. Now she can say if you don’t change the agreement, I’m OUT the door.”

I’m tempted to believe this story from Enquirer, that seems to originally have come from People. The latter is a pretty reputable source all round and it was the Enquirer that was the first to break the news about Tiger and his many ladies. So who knows at this point. But it does look like Elin’s not ready to sign any divorce papers today. And as for Tiger? Oh what a twisted web we weave…