The Latest on Madonna and Jesus

I was just thinking that it’s been awhile since we’ve heard anything about Madonna and whoever her current love interest is. And to be honest, I was sort of happy about it. But, just when I was thinking that we were all getting a reprieve from all things Madonna, she’s popped back up in the tabloids. And apparently, she’s still with Jesus. Not only that, but she’s also still acting like his Sugar Momma. According to the latest story, anyway, which claims that she just bought him his own home in NYC. I don’t get this, wasn’t Jesus living with her? Was there a lover’s quarrel? From Pop Crunch,

“Madonna is buying her barely legal boyfriend Jesus Luz a multimillion apartment near her home in New York City.

The Material Girl is reportedly splashing out an impressive sum for a NYC loft for 23-year-old Brazilan model Jesus Luz.

Madonna is buying Jesus an apartment in New York. She has her real estate agent searching for the perfect pad for him in the new neighbourhood where she has just moved,” a tipster tattled to Britain’s The Sun newspaper on Thursday.

“….She is financing everything but Jesus will own it once it’s found and bought She really wasn’t kidding when she told him he’ll never have to worry about money from now on,” the snitch spilled.”

That’s nice. A relationship that’s built purely on an old woman lusting after a young Brazilian hottie, and a Brazilian hottie that’s more than willing to let an old woman pay for everything in his life. Good, that sounds healthy. Honestly, I’ve gotten so sick and freakin tired of Madonna that I don’t really care who she’s buying what for.

Jesus Luz is Madonna’s New Protege

Back off, Britney Spears, Madonna has a new protege in the making and it’s none other than her former lover, Jesus Luz. Reportedly, Madonna dumped the much-younger man just a short while ago but that doesn’t mean that she’s lost interest in making him a star. I guess the modeling career that she had laid out for him didn’t go so well because Madge’s next step is to make Jesus a pop star. Yeah, I can just see it now, can’t you? In my vision of the whole thing, it looks like it will probably be much like Paris Hilton’s singing career. He’ll release maybe one single and we’ll only know that he has an album because we read about it somewhere. Oh, a pop star Jesus Luz is not. From Pop Crunch,

“Madonna is coaching her former boytoy on how to become a popstar.
Madge reportedly dumped 22-year-old Jesus Luz earlier this summer after being too busy with her Sticky And Sweet World Tour. Nonetheless, the Queen of Pop was has promised the Brazilian model that she wil help him release a single.

Luz himself has said that he would love to mimic the Material Girl’s impact on music, once remarking: “Madonna’s energy inspires many people. I want to make music which can be danced to.”

“They may not be lovers anymore but Madge has promised to help him because they are still very good friends,” a music insider told News of The World early Sunday.

“She really wants him to succeed,” the insider added.”

Well, Jesus really is Madge’s little project that just won’t quit, isn’t he? Unfortunately for him, it’s going to be difficult to replicate the impact Madonna has had on music. I don’t know if he’s looked in a mirror lately, but he’s much different than Madonna. Not to mention the fact that not even someone of the same sex can replicate Madonna. She can try as hard as she wants but if Madonna wants a protege, she might want to find another Britney (let’s face it, Brit doesn’t need a mentor anymore.) But Jesus Luz just ain’t gonna cut it.

Jesus Jealous of Guy

Ya know what one of the problems is with dating a 20-something guy when you’re 50-something? It’s that you’ve experienced a lot in life and he hasn’t. Another big problem is that he won’t understand why your past experiences are still following you around and will be for the remainder of your life. In Madonna’s case, that past experience goes by the name Guy Ritchie. And the 20-something that doesn’t understand why he’s still there? Is, of course, Jesus Luz. Apparently, Madge is still talking to Guy and Jesus wants it to stop. Oh the manure when we’re so immature! If you can’t understand why two parents of the same children need to keep in contact, then I don’t know what to tell ya.

The story also goes that another reason why Jesus is so upset is because Madonna has also ordered him to stop speaking to anyone he’s ever dated in the past. What did he think was going to happen when he started dating the Queen of Pop? Anyone who’s been on this earth for more than 5 seconds knows that Madonna is a complete control freak and that she becomes total ruler of your life when you get involved with her. From The Daily Mail,

“Madonna may be pleased that she and her former husband are getting along better these days but her toyboy lover Jesus Luz is far from overjoyed.
The 22-year-old Brazilian, who is accompanying Madonna on her latest tour, has confided he is unhappy that six months after the divorce Guy Ritchie is back in the family fold.
‘Guy is with Madonna a lot these days and was invited to a party at her house with some of their mutual friends last weekend,’ says a source.
‘He goes to kabbalah meetings with Madonna and the kids and he adores Mercy.
‘It’s uncomfortable for Jesus having to be around Guy so much and very hypocritical – Madonna has banned Jesus from speaking to any of his ex-girlfriends.’

I don’t think Guy is ‘back in the family fold’ because I don’t think he was probably ever out of it. He is the father of two of Madonna’s children - Rocco and David Banda - and therefore, will never be completely out of the lives of his children or their mother.

I’m really sick of hearing Jesus whine about how hard it is to be with Madonna. And mind you, I realize this story has no verification and could be completely false but anything I hear about Jesus Luz, is him talking about how difficult life with Madge is when she’s been very good to him. She’s put him up in her swanky NYC apartment and his modeling career has completely taken off ever since he’s hooked up with the Material Girl. I think Jesus should be thankful for what he’s given and enjoy it while it lasts. Because you know it won’t be long before Madonna becomes completely bored with him and tosses him for someone else that she can completely dominate over.

Madonna Allows Jesus to Speak

Well as soon as the father of Jesus Luz, alleged lover boy of Madonna, came out and told the tabloids that he was pretty sure there was going to be a ceremony of some sort between his son and the Queen of Pop, you can bet that Madge whipped up a script, handed it to Jesus and told him where to go with it. The young Brazilian, who was before strictly to be seen and not heard, has come out recently to say that although Madonna is perfect, they are not getting married and they are in fact not even together. Yep, it certainly sounds like it came from Madonna’s mouth.

Not only does it place her on some kind of pedestal way, way, way above the rest of us, but it also leaves us scratching our heads. Were they not dating? Did they not get back together? What about all those visits to that freaky-deaky place in NYC? Yes, all this stirring the pot absolutely reeks of Madge’s work. From Gossip Rocks,

“Jesus Luz has spoken for the first time about his on/off lover Madonna, saying she is ‘beautiful’ and has ‘no visible faults’.
In an interview with Brazilian television, the model heaped praise on the singer, but insisted they are just friends.
He said: ‘Madonna is beautiful, a person full of positive energy, with no visible faults. I found her marvellous. Her personality also impressed me.
‘She is a person I admire a lot, a friend in my life, who I remain in contact with. But apart from that I cannot say more.’
He denied claims that the pair are set to tie the knot, insisting: ‘She’s my friend, only a friend.’
‘There are no wedding plans, no wedding presents, she’s just a friend, who I speak to frequently as I do with my friends in Rio de Janeiro,’ he added, in his native Portuguese.
Madonna, 50, met Jesus, 22, on the set of a W magazine shoot in Brazil last December.
Despite rumours of a split earlier this year, the couple seem to be going strong and have increasingly been seen out and about in New York of late.
The model’s father Luiz Heitor Pinto da Luz has hinted in an interview that they are preparing to exchange religious vows.
He said: ‘My understanding is that this is just a consequence of what is happening. He is already living with her.
‘I don’t know if there will be an actual wedding. From what I have read there could be a sort of ritual, but I don’t know Kabbalah… to know if it’s valid and legal.’
And the rumours strengthened when Jesus was seen in a jewellery store in Rio.
But the singer’s spokeswoman said the wedding rumours were ‘completely and totally not true.’
In the TV interview Jesus also denied having been converted by Madonna, and said: ‘I used to go to Catholic church in Rio, and Evangelical churches, but I don’t have any special feelings for any specific religion, I respect all of them.’”

So, why are we talking about this? Do we really care if Madonna is dating someone who’s young enough to be her son? Do we really care if he’s converted to Kabbalah or not? But because I do always feel as though my two cents are necessary, I’d just like to say that I’m not buying Jesus’ (Madonna’s) story. They may not be getting married but they’re totally together. I don’t know why they want to deny it at this point.

Madonna and Jesus Luz to be Committed

To each other, of course. But this whole relationship has me so sick that I would really like to see both of them committed. But really the two are set to ‘get married’ in a Kabbalah ceremony that will unite the two in some sort of commitment. I think the union will only be viewed as valid between those who practice Kabbalah as it’s certainly not legally binding. From Bild,

“Madonna and Jesus Luz are reportedly getting married. The Brazilian model’s father Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz has revealed the couple are planning a Kabbalah ceremony to have their union recognised by the mystical Jewish faith followed by the 50-year-old singer, although the marriage will not be legally binding. Luis said: “The Kabbalah ceremony in New York that will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy. I don’t know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah or if the ceremony will have legal validity.”

I guess this means that Jesus won’t be able to take Madonna for all she’s worth when he starts disobeying the rules that she lays out for him as her new Kabbalah husband and she decides to take everything and leave him. I also love how the Kabbalah religion is said to be Madonna’s religion, indicating what we all also already know - that in whatever relationship she’s in, Madonna calls the shots and the other person must be willing to go along with it. I’d offer my congratulations but really, I don’t really care what this couple does or what weird practices they choose to follow. I’m sure if it was an actual marriage ceremony that would be considered legally binding, everyone would be appalled that she would remarry just months after her divorce from Guy Ritchie. But because it’s not, it’s something to be celebrated not scrutinized. I don’t get that.

Madonna’s Contract: Rule 347

One of the things that became most famous about Madonna’s marriage to Guy Ritchie was that she had a contract of rules that he must follow should he wish to stay happily married, within a confined and controlled manner, to her. Now it seems that she has passed on this contract of other-half rules to her current beau, Jesus Luz. Of course, Madge has had to take out some rules that aren’t appropriate, such as what to do with the children when they’re in your care, and insert other rules, such as how she won’t ever meet your mother, but the gist is pretty much the same - ‘Do as I say, or else!’
What are some of the specific rules on Jesus’ list? Well one of them is that he better drop it with that accent of his and learn English, pronto! Madonna’s tired of trying to wade through his broken English bullcrap! From Pop Crunch,

“It’s back-to-school time for Madonna’s barely legal Bust It Baby, Jesus Luz.

While Madge and her 22-year-old Brazilian-born boytoy of the hour both speak the language of love fluently, the Material Mom has grown increasingly frustrated with trying to understand her hunny’s broken English.

The “Borderline” singer has reportedly hired a tutor to teach Jesus English.

A source told Star Magazine this week: “She’s paying more than $1,000 per week for him to learn English.”

I understand that this really is just a good thing that Madonna is trying to do for Jesus. It will serve him well in the future, whatever he ends up doing after Madonna tires of him once and for all but I still can’t help that this looks a little like Madonna telling her boyfriend how to speak.

Well We Knew it was Going to Happen, Didn’t We?

Of course being with Jesus Luz made Madonna look like a pathetic cougar who had absolutely no moral standards whatsoever. Not only because she’s old enough to be his mature mother but also because she was shacking up with him just months after her divorce. Not to mention that all of this was coming off the heels of her affair with A-Rod, which left a marriage in pieces. So one the good thing that Madonna could do to make her look like the angelic, saintly parent that she wanted to make herself out to be to the Malawian government, was to dump Jesus the boy-toy and wrap Mercy up in her loving arms. 

Well none of what she did to try and make amends for her disgusting behavior seemed to have worked because all of her plans for adopting Mercy went straight down the toilet. So now she’s decided to stop putting on pretenses for just a second and continue to get jiggy with it with Jesus. But not before, of course, he takes a dip in holy Kabbalah water to cleanse himself of whatever impurities he contracted in her absence. From The Sun via Celebitchy,

“Madonna had just enjoyed a dinner date with on/off lover Jesus Luz and a few pals in New York.

They tucked into some Italian nosh at Morandi before leaving separately, only to link up once more in the back of Madge’s waiting car.

Earlier in the evening, they were seen leaving the Kabbalah center, once again avoiding being pictured together.

The pair have yet to confirm whether or not they are still an item, but the Brazilian model is certainly a dab hand at perking up his reported missus following her recent adoption woe.”

I really don’t think this news is going to shock anyone. Even when she was with A-Rod she sort of seemed to blow hot and cold on him. People in Madge’s world just need to get used to the fact that they are completely disposable, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t wait until she’s ready to pick them back up and start playing with them again.

Madonna’s Problems in Love and Adoption

It’s not easy being Madonna. First Guy Ritchie doesn’t let you bat him around with that fly swatter and then you realize that the 22-year-old that you’re dating just isn’t as mature as you thought he was. Huh. Yes, Madonna has broken it off with the man who could be her son, Jesus Luz because she wouldn’t meet him mom for Mother’s Day and he threw a hissy fit. This just goes to show how stupid he is. Luz had a pretty sweet deal being hooked up with Madonna and set up in her NYC crib. And because he’s taken not too long to show his true colors, it just goes to show how stupid she is. All that came out of that relationship was that she made herself appear to be the desperate old hag that she is. From Digital Spy,

“Madonna has split from Jesus Luz following a row over her lack of commitment, a report claims.

According to The Mirror, the 50-year-old popstar angered her Brazilian boyfriend by refusing to meet his family on May 10, which is Mother’s Day in his home country.

The argument apparently resulted in the singer deciding to call time on her relationship with 22-year-old Luz.

“It was a huge wakeup call for Madonna that Jesus really isn’t the man for her,” a source told the newspaper. “Things were moving too fast and they were practically living in each other’s pockets.

“Jesus felt so rejected when Madge was dragging her heels over the family meeting in Brazil. Mother’s Day is a big deal for him as it’s tradition for all of the Luz matriarchs to be celebrated, including his 37-year-old mother.”

I can see how it would be awkward to meet your boyfriend’s mother when you’re considerably older than she is. So that stupid relationship is over and I’m glad I don’t have to talk about it anymore. But Madonna’s biggest problems actually stem from her pending Malawian adoption, where she will file official papers next week. Madonna is reportedly having problems with the family of the girl, Mercy James, that she wants to adopt.

From the sounds of it, I don’t really understand why Madonna has to adopt this particular girl, as she has family that’s willing to take care of her. I know lots of people say that she’s doing a great thing, giving these kids a better life and that may be true, in the physical and material sense but taking these children away from their homes and family is not giving them a better life. David Banda still had a grandfather back in Malawi when Madonna adopted him in 2006 however, that controversy was over the fact that the Malawian government had bended the rules to make the adoption go through. This time, the girl’s family is actually saying that they don’t want her to go. From Contact Music,

“MADONNA is facing strong opposition over her bid to adopt a girl from Malawi - a leading childrens’ charity and the tot’s grandmother have condemned the singer’s plans to take home orphan MERCY JAMES.
The pop superstar has confirmed she will file adoption papers in a Malawi court next week (begs30Mar09) to legally adopt the four-year-old.
Mercy James has reportedly been removed from an orphanage and is in the care of a nanny at Kumbali Lodge, outside Lilongwe, where the singer has stayed on previous visits.
But Madonna has come under scrutiny from bosses at U.K.-based charity Save The Children, who claim it is best for a child to stay in their homeland surrounded by their extended family.
A representative for the charity says, “For the most part so-called orphans in poor countries tend to have family still available to them, if not actually a parent still living.
“It is vital, we say, that children should not be taken abroad to be looked after but should be cared for in their own environment by their own community, ideally by their own family, particularly their extended family.
“You cannot literally take every poor child who may only have one parent living, or no parent living, across the world and transport them all into Kensington in London. It’s not a solution.”
The charity’s appeal to the star comes on the same day the child’s grandmother has hit out at Madonna for her bid to adopt Mercy James - accusing her of “stealing” the youngster from her biological family.
Lucy Chekechiwa, 61, tells Britain’s The Sun newspaper, “Why doesn’t this singer pick other children? It is stealing. I want to go to court, I won’t let her go.”
Chekechiwa insists the child is supposed to return to her care when she turns six, and that orphanage officials have reneged on their “initial agreement”.
She adds, “They told me when I visited her last month that they want to find a better education and home for Mercy. But I am sticking to the initial agreement that Mercy will return home to me after she reaches six years old.”

Madonna will end up getting this child because she is Madonna and to be honest, I think it’s sickening. There are plenty of other children that she could adopt, and there certainly have to be plenty of other children in Malawi if she’s so hell-bent on adopting from there, that don’t have family to take care of them that it’s completely unnecessary to take those who do have biological family that wants so badly to take care of them.

Madonna Brainwashes Another

It seems as though Madonna has made the decision to completely wash another person’s brain from anything it’s ever known and fill it with nonsense about Kabbalah water and about how she’s the Queen of the Earth. This time, the wide-eyed and unsuspecting victim is her new young hottie, Jesus Luz who she started seeing immediately after her divorce from Guy Ritchie. The two seem to have moved things along quite quickly though, even though Madge has only been divorced since November as it’s now being reported that she’s taking Luz into her New York apartment. Normally, I’d say that this is all happening a little too quickly but in this situation, I understand. You do need to get at that brainwashing as soon as possible. From Contact Music,

“The Holiday hitmaker reportedly began dating the Brazilian model earlier this year (09) following her split from moviemaker Guy Ritchie.
The 50-year-old introduced Luz to her three children, 12-year-old daughter Lourdes, son Rocco, eight, and adopted tot David Banda, three, last month (Feb09).
And now she has taken their relationship to the next level, by moving the model into her Big Apple apartment, reports Britain’s Sunday Mirror newspaper.
A source tells the publication, “Jesus has left his old life and his old friends behind. His whole world has turned on its head since he met Madonna.
“A few months ago he was living at his mum’s place in one of the poorest cities in the world. Now he’s got his feet under the table in a massive mansion block overlooking Central Park. And he’s on the books of the biggest modelling agency in the world.
“Madonna has changed too. She’s mellowed into a completely different person from the one who was married to Guy Ritchie. She never used to like cooking but now she has really got into it. They laugh a lot and enjoy staying in.”

At first when I read that she had changed, I thought maybe she had actually grown some sort of human compassion or understanding but apparently, she just likes to cook now. And I’m sure that Luz doesn’t mind living with someone who’s known to be as demanding as Madonna. After all, he only exchanged his soul for a swanky NYC crib. Not to mention that he’s booked with a modeling agency too. And with the mother issues already in place, the coercion should be no sweat for Madonna.

Madonna and Jesus Luz Step Out

Hanging out at her second home, the Kabbalah Center, last night Madonna was seen all dressed up for the Jewish holiday of Purim and she brought none other than her new boy toy, Jesus Luz. I’m not sure what dressing up like a school girl, or the Joker for that matter, has to do with celebrating a religious holiday but I also don’t know much about Kabbalah or the Jewish faith. I can say that Madge looks better than ever. I think it’s because she has long dark hair that seems to hide her face and the sunglasses also help. She’s also wearing those long gloves that hide her withered arms that have veins sticking out of them everywhere. She should definitely try this look more often. From US,

 ”Madonna and her younger beau Jesus Luz played dress-up Monday night.

The 50-year-old singer wore a schoolgirl get-up to a bash celebrating the Jewish holiday of Purim at the Kabbalah Centre in NYC.

Clad in a dark brown fringe wig, fishnet stockings, square-frame glasses and a grey mini skirt, she resembled her 12-year-old daughter, Lourdes.

Luz, 22, dressed as Heath Ledger’s Joker character in The Dark Knight. In an odd twist, he was photographed holding hands with a woman identified as Jerry Seinfeld’s wife, Jessica.

It is the latest public outing for Madonna and her younger Brazilian beau, whom she met on a W magazine shoot in December.

A source told Us Weekly that Madonna is in the relationship mostly for attention. Said the insider, “She loves showing her ex [Guy Ritchie] that she can still get the youngest, hottest thing out there.”

But her other ex, , recently told Us that the romance makes her look sad.

“When she is 80, what is she going to date — a guy who is 10 years old?” he snapped. “It’s getting crazy!”

It wouldn’t surprise me at all to know that Madonna was dating Luz just to stick it to Guy and I’m usually on Guy’s side of things in this whole matter but I have to say, these comments do make him appear pretty pathetic. He shouldn’t care who she’s dating now or who she’s going to date when she’s 80. After all, freaking out about it in the media is only giving her exactly what she wants. And why were Jesus and Jessica so chummy? Who knows? Every single person involved in this is just plain weird and I’m pretty sure that this is a case of the less we know, the better.